First Unitarian Universalist Church of New Orleans
Sunday, January 23, 2011
This past September, I, like many UUs who subscribe to the New York Times, was surprised to read in the “Beliefs” column about a Unitarian Universalist minister that I had never heard of – but should have. The minister was the Reverend James Stoll, and he was the first openly gay UU minister. In addition to that distinction, he was largely responsible for the passage at the 1970 UUA General Assembly of the first anti-discrimination resolution for gays and lesbians by a major American denomination. And yet, I had never heard of him. I thought that was both astounding – and wrong.
The New York Times article and subsequent inquiries by UUs and reporters from all over the country spurred the UUA to search its historical records, and to provide heretofore unavailable information about this “unsung hero” of the BGLTI rights movement. And so I, like many other UU ministers, was inspired to preach a sermon about James Stoll.
In order to better understand James Stoll, it is necessary to first grasp the times and context in which he lived. In the late 1960s and early 1970s, the United States was riven in what would turn out to be the first in a serious of cultural conflicts. Many progressives and liberals felt a loss of faith in American ideals, when, following the optimism and hope of the Civil Rights movement, there followed the ugly assassinations of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Senator Robert Kennedy, the revelations of the failure and fallout of the Vietnam War in the publication (by the UUA’s own Beacon Press) of the Pentagon Papers, and violent disturbances in American inner cities. President Nixon’s administration seemed to promote division in the country, assuring some citizens that they were part of a “Silent Majority” that still treasured old-fashioned patriotism, and rejected the riots, revolution, and radical philosophy attributed to liberals abd African-Americans.
The Unitarian Universalist Association was part of the bubbling cultural gumbo of the times. The Black Empowerment Controversy of 1967-1976 split the denomination, which had been a leader not only in civil rights, but in black empowerment. Our loss at that time of large numbers of African-American members has never been made up. Individual congregations, including this one, erupted into conflict over their ministers’ public stands against the Vietnam War and in favor of full equality for African-Americans. It was a difficult time, for our country and for our denomination, and the implications of what happened in those times still resonates today.
With all the ferment going on, some things were still almost unheard-of. While Unitarianism had once been on the cutting edge of women clergy (in the late 19th and early 20th centuries), by the ate 60’s, women ministers and women in elected congregational leadership were still rare in Unitarian Universalism in those times. UU hymns routinely celebrated the achievements of “man” and “mankind” as a universal for all humanity; women who complained were said to be "over-sensitive." When God was invoked at all, the pronoun used was “He.” And while there can be no doubt whatsoever that there had been same-sex loving UU ministers forever, none of them had been open and public about what we now call their sexual orientation.
Into this context did James Stoll embark on his path to UU ministry. He was born in 1936 in Connecticut, to an affluent upper-middle class family. He was sent to a boarding school in Massachusetts (where, he later said, same-sex relationships were fairly common among the students), and went on to attend San Francisco State University. At some point, he discerned a call to ministry and entered Starr King School for the Ministry, a Unitarian Universalist seminary located in Berkeley, California. As a telling indication of the isolation, fear, and loneliness which enveloped gays and lesbians in those days, Jim Stoll lived for two years in a house in Berkeley with another gay man – and neither realized the other was gay until years later.
After graduation in 1962, Jim was called as pastor to the Unitarian Universalist congregation of Kennewick, in Washington state. By the accounts of parishioners from that time, his ministry was a success. New members joined, drawn by Jim’s preaching, which – like many UU ministers of his age cohort – featured humanistic psychology, Beat Poets, existential philosophers, Kahlil Gibran, and Unitarian poets T. S. Eliot and e. e. cummings. He brought in guest speakers, professors from Starr King and from other Bay Area universities. He brought in samplings of the new music sweeping the nation. As one parishioner later said, “He was like a breath of fresh air.” He was especially beloved by the church’s youth, who idolized him.
Some of what the youth loved about him were things that would later get him into trouble. In a recent exchange on the UU Ministers Chat, there’s been a discussion about the prevalence among UU clergy and congregations at this time of marijuana smoking, adults having sexual or sexualized relationships with older youth, and even spouse-swapping at church parties. While these things were not totally widespread, we have to realize that they were not uncommon either. Jim’s personal use of marijuana and sharing it with church youth, and his double-entendre laced private conversations, are viewed by us today as inappropriate, but was seen by many UUs at the time as emblems of liberal freedom and open-mindedness.
Since the merger of the Unitarians and the Universalists in 1961, the joint youth organizations were on the forefront of many social issues and concerns. The Continental Conference (known then as now as a “Con Con”) of Student Religious Liberals, generally called SRL, was held in September 1969, at Camp Foret in Colorado Springs; Jim Stoll drove a carload of young adults to the event. One can imagine that not a few joints were involved over the 1200 mile trip, and there must have been many free ranging conversations.
The conference was vintage 1960s. The participants were college students, recent grads, and a few lucky high schoolers who wormed their way in, along with some ministers and church youth directors. They were eager to argue politics, discuss religion, find ways to change the world, and with any luck, as young people would say today, get a hook-up. Ho Chi Minh’s death that weekend occasioned a moment of silence from the gathering’s participants. Militant feminism was espoused by a young Texas college student, Barbara Merritt, who later became senior minister of the UU in Worcester, Massachusetts. A minor controversy erupted over whether or not the group could in good conscience listen to “America the Beautiful” in light of the Vietnam War and manifest injustices in the country.
On the second or third night of the conference, Jim Stoll went to the microphone. It was not an impulsive act. He had been thinking about making such a move for quite some time, and had taken the trouble to consult with close friends in the Bay Area. He was inspired in part by the Civil Rights movement (in 1965, Jim had, along with other UU ministers, accepted Martin Luther King Jr.’s call to interfaith clergy to come to Selma), as well as the Stonewall Rebellion, which had occurred in New York City the previous June, following the death of gay icon Judy Garland, but he was mainly motivated by his sense of personal integrity and authenticity.
In the words of his parishioner and friend Leland Bond-Upson:
Jim told us he could no longer live a lie. He’d been hiding his nature – his true self – from everyone except his closest friends. “If the revolution we’re in means anything,” he said, “it means we have the right to be ourselves, without shame or fear.” Then he told us he was gay, and had always been gay, and it wasn’t a choice, and he wasn’t ashamed any more and that he wasn't going to hide it any more, and from now on he was going to be himself in public.… After he concluded, there was a dead silence, then a couple of the young women went up and hugged him, followed by general congratulations. The few who did not approve kept their peace.
In the months following his revelation at the SRL conference, Jim found his ministry at Kennewick under fire. He was accused of using drugs (which he had been, but apparently no more or less than many other people, including other UU ministers) and inappropriate behavior with the church’s youth (which was probably also true, in one way or another, especially by today’s standards). In the official documents found at the UUA Department of Ministry, there is no overt reference to what were likely strong contributing causes for the ministry’s end – his open homosexuality, his counseling of draft dodgers in the church office, his growing a beard, his enthusiastic embrace of the counterculture.
And so he was let go. He moved back to the Bay Area, and opened a counseling practice, and traveled up and down the Pacific Coast, preaching gay liberation (as it was called then) to any congregation that would give him an honorarium and travel expenses. As he traveled, he worked to organize straights and gays throughout the UUA to bring the issue to General Assembly. That summer his efforts came to fruition when the GA voted to pass the first gay and lesbian anti-discrimination resolution in the history of American religion. Other denominations followed, some right away and some much later, but we were the first.
Because of the circumstances of his departure from Kennewick, he never again served a church as pastor, but through his counseling, his work with the ACLU and hospice, Jim acted as what we would call a Community Minister until his final illness. Before the New York Times article last September, he was nearly forgotten.
Jim Stoll dreamed of a country and a religion where people could be accepted and loved and promoted and recognized on the basis of who they really were and wbat talents they had. He wanted America and Unitarian Universalism to realize the full humanity of BGLTI people. He wanted what we all want, at bottom, which is for life to be normal, no matter who we are, no matter who we love, no matter our gender or gender expression. He was what we all are – a flawed and gifted human being, trying to do the right as he saw it. He was not perfect, but he was a hero, and he should not be forgotten.
Jim Stoll’s dream remains unfulfilled. There is still so much work to do. Not only do we continue to fight for equal marriage rights for same-sex couples, there are still appalling statistics for suicide among gay and lesbian and transgender youth, and thousands of BGLTI people face everyday prejudice and discrimination in housing and jobs, and casual violence from bigots, just for being who they are.
In order for us as a justice-seeking religion to move forward in confidence, we must know and honor those heroes and heroines who have gone before us, who blazed the trail we now walk. It is important for us to learn about those who went ahead, often at great cost to themselves, to make justice a reality for more and more people.
As we sing in what UU ministers consider the most sacred of all our hymns, may what they dreamed be ours to do; hope their hopes and seal them true. So might this be! AMEN – ASHE – SHALOM – SALAAM – NAMASTE – BLESSED BE!
