The Rev. Melanie Morel-Ensminger
First Unitarian Universalist Church of Chicago
Angels must be really, really scary-looking. In the Bible, whenever an angel shows up, the very first words out of their mouths are, “Fear not” -- in other words, "Don't be scared!" "Fear not" is one of the most common expressions in the Old and New Testaments. Citations in an online biblical concordance run to 8 pages; it appears 7 times in Genesis alone. It seems from time immemorial, we human beings have had a lot of fear, and have needed a lot of reassurance.
Right now, our country seems awash in fear. Some fear is based in actual lived experience. People in the Northeast fear another terrorist attack; people on the Gulf Coast fear another hurricane and another oil disaster; people in major urban areas fear crime. Some fear is engendered by our elected leaders for their own ends. Some fear is politically-based for the upcoming election. On one side, there is fear of an overturn of recent legislation; on the other, fear that the country’s moral center has collapsed, fear that we will be seen by our foes as weak. Fear is the common currency of our time.
Personally, all this fear-mongering disgusts me, and I hate that it's being used to manipulate the public. It’s not that I don’t have a healthy respect for fear; fear can actually be good for you. The late Dr. F. Forrester Church, minister of All Souls UU Church in New York, wrote a book a few years ago called Freedom from Fear, in which he described 5 kinds of fear, some of which can save your life. But most of the time, fear eats you up and destroys your chances for happiness and peace. “Fear not” is a good message for all of us.
Since August 29, 2005, most New Orleanians have been living in a state of fear so enveloping that we don’t even consciously feel it any more. The fear in New Orleans since Katrina is compounded by the fact that all of us have something fearful in our pasts, and the hurricane and the oil spill gave us hooks to hang all our fears on. The costs of living in a constant atmosphere of fear are both psychic and physical – and the toll is being seen in the rise locally of stress-related diseases and the climbing rates of suicide and depression. The price of pervasive fear is very high indeed.
I have to say that there is at least one group of people in Greater New Orleans who seem to have found a way to let go of their fears, and those are the Unitarian Universalists. The congregation of North Shore across the Lake from New Orleans continues to attract new people and new families; they bravely soldier on despite a crippling mortgage, obtained in more prosperous times, that prevents them from calling a new minister. The minister of Community Church in New Orleans and I offer one service a month and consult with their committees; out-of-town UU ministers offer occasional services, and for the rest of the Sundays they present sermons by UU ministers read by trained Worship Associates. They are active in issues in their parish, and known in the community for their interfaith efforts, especially with local Muslims.
Back in New Orleans, only a few yards from the break in the federal levee at the 17th St. Canal, Community Church UU moves forward with courage to construct their new church building. If only there had been enough money immediately after Katrina, they could have saved and improved their old building – indeed, they had already paid an architect for such plans, using donations from the UUA/UUSC Gulf Coast relief Fund – but instead FEMA forced them to tear it down and begin again. They barely have enough money for the construction, and no funds at all for furniture and furnishings and décor, but they move forward confidently, trusting that something, somehow, someway, will work out when the time comes. Meanwhile, they meet in the converted family room of a nearby house they call their “Annex,” even though there is no main building yet. Despite their many challenges, they have partnered with an innovative new school in the Upper Ninth Ward and offer tutoring programs for public school students.
At First Church, the “mother” church of the 3 UU congregations, members and unpaid volunteers (some from our dedicated partner churches) have done themselves work that would have cost thousands of dollars if done by professionals – laying floor tile, creating wainscoting to cover the ugly flood line, refinishing original woodwork, hanging sheetrock, mudding, and painting. We’ve devised an innovative plan in which the rebuilt church kitchen will truly be a Community Kitchen, owned jointly with the New Orleans AIDS Task Force, to provide meals to AIDS/HIV clients, and develop a neighborhood (maybe even city-wide!) Food Ministry. Believe you me (as my mother used to say), our monthly church work days, established pre-Katrina, are now something to see!
When the state building inspector informed us in August that post-storm updated building codes would apply to our church, we were faced with $150,000 of unbudgeted expenses to obtain a Permanent Certificate of Occupancy. If I told you that the congregation despaired and sunk into fear, you’d probably think that was only natural, but instead, members stepped up boldly, voted to borrow $50,000 from the depleted endowment, and then individuals generously came forward to loan the church money from their own personal retirement accounts.
In one of the ironic blowbacks of Katrina, the aftermath has given us much to be grateful for: the new, right relationship among the 3 UU congregations; the solidarity with other UUs and other UU churches around the country; and the realization of what really matters.
In Greater New Orleans, we have real, actual bases for our fears – that enough affordable housing may NOT be built or rebuilt in order to bring all New Orleanians home who want to come home; that the new police chief may NOT be able to overcome the culture of corruption and disregard that infects our police department; that more of our young men of color will succumb to despair and nihilism and continue to shoot and kill each other; that despite our having one of the highest incarceration rates in the world, more jail cells will be built, instead of the missing hospitals, mental health centers, day care centers, schools, and grocery stores that were lost to the Storm and not rebuilt. In some places, such very real fears might be sufficient cause to abandon the city altogether for comfortable middle-class suburbs or some other location with fewer challenges – but today’s New Orleanians are made of different stuff.
In the UU churches of Greater New Orleans, we could be afraid, very afraid, but we choose not to be. We could also be bitter – other religious groups made the choice to completely rebuild their congregations after Katrina before distributing money in the community, and we are among the very few churches that were not. But instead of feeling bitter, we feel grateful, grateful for all the UU individuals and congregations who have stood with us since the very beginning, and who continue to walk with us through this long, arduous process of recovery and renewal. We feel so much love and gratitude for the thousands of volunteers, UU and non-UU, who have come to the Crescent City and given their time and their sweat and their labor, as well as their money, to aid us in the necessary renaissance. There's a bumper stickers around the Crescent City that say, "Be a New Orleanian wherever you are" and we so appreciate all these honorary New Orleanians. We hope that First Church Chicago will continue to be “in that number” of the “Saints” who go “marchin’ in” with us.
We in New Orleans have chosen to live without fear, and we have advice for all those who want to do the same, no matter where they live. We have learned that choosing to live without fear means doing 4 simple but challenging things:
1st, remember it’s not all about YOU. However bad it is for you, it’s much worse for someone else. So get over yourself.
2nd, want what you have, and don’t obsess over what you don’t have or what you’ve lost. Focus on the folks who love you, and enjoy all the good things still available to you – good food, good music, dancing, festivals, and secondline parades. Be grateful -- gratitude is a good antidote to fear.
3rd, do what you can; don’t despair over what you can’t do. Yes, you will not be able to fix everything, but don’t let that stop you from doing what you are able to do. The journey of a thousand steps is made one step at a time.
4th, be who you are; stop imagining a better self who lives a better life. As the Buddhists say, “Be here now,” and don’t focus excessively on the future or the past. This is who you are and where you are -- so deal with it. [adapted from Freedom from Fear]
In the Wizard of Oz, the Cowardly Lion is the most courageous character, yet he is always afraid. When I was a child and learned of all my dad had done in the organized labor and civil rights movements, I told him I was proud of him for being so brave. “Oh no, Mimi,” he said, “I wasn’t brave – I was afraid all the time. I just did what had to be done.” There can be no better definition of real courage.
Courage is NOT being fearless – courage is not letting your fears rule your life. “Fear not” does not mean having no fear at all, because that is both impossible and unhealthy for us human beings. You will still be afraid, but freedom lies in choosing to go on, walking through, marching through, living through, yes even dancing through, your fears, and coming out on the other side, your true and authentic self, whole and safe and free. AMEN – ASHÉ – SHALOM – SALAAM – NAMASTE – BLESSED BE!
