First Unitarian Universalist Church of New Orleans
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Welcome to the first of a series of 5 worship services to honor the holiday season. Next Sunday, we’ll hold a big, all-ages multi-holiday service with lots of carols and special music, that will be led by Worship Associate Reese Brewer and outgoing Religious Education Director Coleen Murphy. (I’ll be leading a similar service at North Shore UU across the lake as part of our shared ministry with them.) On Christmas Eve, the church will be lit with candles for our Christmas Open House from 7 to 8 pm, an open-table Christmas Communion service with special music that will be co-led by me and Jyaphia Christos-Rodgers, followed by more Open House Festivities after the service from 9-10 pm. If you come on Christmas Eve, please bring some kind of holiday goodie to share; we’ll provide the hot mulled cider.
The Sunday after Christmas, December 28, we will hold our second annual Jazz Funeral for the Old Year. We’ll have a brass band and a real casket to bury our cares and concerns from 2008 to clear the way for the New Year. Our holiday series will end on January 4th with a service on the Three Kings, with kingcake afterwards at coffeehour. There are many gifts of the holiday season – come enjoy them with your church family.
We begin our series on “The Gifts of the Season” with a service on learning to enjoy holiday gifts, despite all the challenges in our lives. As our Reading this morning suggests, Christmas may just be another day on the calendar, but most people are either unwilling or unable to see December 25th as just another day. If you have small children in your household or in your extended family, it would be almost impossible to convince them that there was no reason to make a big deal of the holiday. But even without children, it would take either a very determined person or a very depressed person to ignore all the holiday goings-on around us. (And only the grinchiest of Grinches could not have been touched by the joy and excitement caused by the snow during the holiday season this week.)
There are always good excuses for NOT celebrating. Yes, it’s true: it costs too much money, it takes a lot of time, and it’s a lot of trouble. And yes, in almost every year, there comes some kind of trouble or major problem that seems to call the holiday season into question. After 9/11, after Katrina, after the stock market meltdown – after any disaster, many people question whether holding a holiday is appropriate.
I’m a 5th-generation New Orleanian, so my answer is always Yes, it’s a good idea to celebrate the holiday (whatever the holiday is). For one thing, human beings, even we modern human beings, are seasonal creatures. We are affected in ways we don’t even understand by the pulls of time and tide, the changing angles of light, and the subtle shifts in the length of the day. As near as we can tell, human beings have always marked the change of seasons with special rituals and holidays. Maybe it’s not just OK to celebrate the season – maybe we need to do it.
Recent news reports about studies on the links between happiness, health, and social relationships point to another reason to celebrate the holidays, especially with family and friends. In brief, the study, by James H. Fowler and Nicholas A. Christakis, looked at a research cohort over 20 years, and came to the conclusion that being happy makes you healthier, and that happiness is catching. Of course, they did not phrase their finding in quite that way; as one academic reviewer put it,
A recent meta-analysis of longitudinal observational studies found that measures of happiness, cheerfulness, and related constructs were associated prospectively with reduced mortality, both in initially healthy people and in those with established illnesses.…
…Regardless of methodological caveats, the work by Fowler and Christakis is groundbreaking in positing the intriguing hypothesis that some psychosocial determinants of health could be transmitted through social connections.
In other, more normal words, hanging around with people who are happy makes you happier, and makes you healthier too, no matter your socioeconomic status, your environment, or your pre-existing conditions. Think of that – celebrating the holidays with people you love, people who are glad to be with you, people who enjoy the holiday season – can make you happier AND healthier.
This is not to say that in order to be happy and healthy during the holiday season you have to subject yourself to every holiday party that comes down the pike, endure endless loops of badly played carols, bake 20 dozen cookies, decorate your house inside and out with hand-made ornaments and decorations, or spend yourself into penury buying wildly expensive gifts. In order to truly enjoy the gifts of the holiday season, one must be a good and even strict editor of your holiday activities.
As Laura Morgan Connor recommends, the first thing you must do to have happy holidays is to only do those holiday events or activities that bring you joy. Eliminate or reduce all those things that are stressful or upsetting to you. Buy cookies or holiday goodies instead of killing yourself standing on your feet in the kitchen, making everything from scratch – who cares? They’ll be just as appreciated and as gratefully received. Have the store or the mall wrap the gifts. Never, ever, do holiday shopping on weekends; wait til Monday or Tuesday -- there will be far fewer people. Decide what’s the minimum holiday décor to set the scene for your Christmas, and call it a day. Draw a healthy boundary around yourself, as a gift from you to you, and you’ll be glad you did.
The second thing to ensure enjoyment of the holiday season is to maintain an “attitude of gratitude” – be thankful for what you have, for the beauty around you, for good things that happen to you and for the good people that cross your path. You don’t have to have a person or thing to thank, just wake up and go to bed grateful. Realize that things could be worse and be grateful that they’re not. I promise, you’ll always find things to be grateful for.
Third, get outside yourself and reach out to those who are not as fortunate as you. As Margaret Collier Graham wrote in a little Christmas book published in 1906, “There is always somebody to be made more cheerful and there is nearly always a way of doing it.” Drop coins in the cauldron by the Salvation Army bell-ringer. Bring a scarf or a coat or a sweater for the Mitten Tree that the Sunday School children are collecting. Contribute to the Minister’s Discretionary Fund, which provides help to parishioners in need and unfunded church programs. Babysit for a single parent friend, or parent-sit for a friend with an elderly parent. Give what you can, whether it’s money or time or skill – you’ll be amazed at how much better YOU feel.
Finally, savor the small joys of this time of year, those unexpected moments, which can give such unalloyed holiday pleasure. Many of these holiday delights are free or inexpensive. Go to the Ritz Hotel in the old Maison Blanche building and check out the life-size gingerbread house; it smells wonderful. Watch out for other people’s outdoor decorations and fire your inner aesthetics critic. Just enjoy the love, enthusiasm, and holiday spirit being exemplified. Walk through Celebration in the Oaks in City Park, or just drive over and look through the fence. Get over to Al Copeland’s house one last time to enjoy the extravagant display. When your favorite holiday song comes on the radio, turn it up and sing along. When somebody says, “Have a Christmas cookie,” forget about your diet -- just say thanks and enjoy the taste of at least one bite. Draw in deep breaths of the Fraser fir Christmas tree smell. Look at your gifts with appreciation before you open them, and open them all, even the flannel pajamas and the regifts, with a sense of appreciation.
We all need joy in our lives, and the holiday season offers us many opportunities. May we face the holidays knowing our limits, filled with gratitude and generosity, and a sense of appreciation. So might this be! AMEN – ASHE – SHALOM – SALAAM – NAMASTE – BLESSED BE!
